MY JOKES AND ANECODOTES
- A Brief Medical Joke Recently, my husband Bob was rushed into emergency surgery. Unprepared, my husband questioned his state of undress prompting him to ask the surgeon, “Are boxers okay?” His question was met by the surgeon’s pause and reply, “Sure, but I prefer briefs.”
- My husband waited in the car for me as I went into the stationery store. While waiting on line, my husband grew impatient and attempted to get my attention knocking on store front window peering in at me. I became annoyed, yet before I could respond the lady patron behind me on line whispered advice into my ear, “Ignore him.” I smiled as I explained, “I can’t. He’s my husband.”
- After undressing for a bath, I remember I left the oven on and I abruptly walked into the kitchen stark naked to shut the oven. My husband, Bob walks into the kitchen and starts up a conversation with me. Startled, I outburst, “I don’t want to have a conversation now while I’m dripping wet naked. I just ran out of the tub for a minute.” My husband glazes at me sheepishly with his idea of an apology, “Sorry, I didn’t notice.”
- While waiting in a dentist’s reception waiting room, accompany by my twin sister, I took notice of two similar women waiting also together. I gave them a “Good afternoon,” and nonchalantly asked them if they’re sisters also like my sister and I, given they’re appeared to be alike. Not to elude my question they smiled in return, yet seemed flustered as they shared with me, “Well, in some regard we are sisters but not like you and your sister – we’re nuns.”
A poster displayed on a downtown bus: “Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help. Call us.”
A stillness envelope two golfers’ game as a funeral procession drove by outside the golf course gated ground, the sight held them beyond their golf game. Clearly off his game, one of the golfers removed his cap and bows his head in a silent prayer, as his partner retreated into a shunned silence by his sense of dramatize respect. The praying golfer offers an explanation, “We would have been married 50 years today.” Published: New York Daily News -Susan Marie Davniero
Jokes and Laugher Submission that I overheard...
One day at work my boss's young son visited the office. I hinted to the son, "Maybe when you grow up you can work here with your father." The precocious son replied, "Gee, I hope not!"
***
Picture this when I overheard two young schoolboys in conversation. One of the boys boast, "I never pay attention in school." His companion ask, "Isn't that a problem?" "Not really." the other one explains; "I was out sick for a week and didn't miss a thing."
***
Overhead at the bowling alley, one bowler was joking with his bowler partner of his resemblance to the cartoon animation "Fred Flintstone." The Fred Flintstone look-alike bragged "Yeah don't I." Adding "I wish I made his money!"
Re: Humor Submissions
-How did the celebrity pay for his coffee? He paid with "Starbucks!"
-What did the astronaut use to win a match? An arm-strong.
-Sometimes cellulite is "just desserts."
-Don't ask the questions and then complain about the answers.
-Know thyself - or at least know where to look.
-A wrinkle is only a "nickle of time."
-She who does nothing wrong probably does nothing.
-It's east to be an angel if no one ruffles your feathers.
-The older I get the better I was.
-If you don't stand for something, you fall for anything.
-Do not measure worth with knowing the price of everything yet the value of nothing.
-True wealth is in the number of things a person can afford to do without.
-Aim high to see the greater good.
Submitted by:
Susan Marie Davniero
THE MINI
KITTEN
Published Pancakes in Heaven
Published Pancakes in Heaven
When the mini
was new
The kitten was a
mini, too
From this feline
so inspired
I wore my mini
dress attire
A mini and
kitten seem to fit
To be the
“purr-fect” outfit
by Susan Marie
Davniero
SANTA’S WINK
Published Great South Bay Mag
Published Great South Bay Mag
Santa’s
wink
Christmas
link
Makes me
think
If my gift will
be
Under the
tree
Is Santa and
me
Susan Marie
Davniero
BALLOONS ON THE
WALL
Balloons on the
wall
When guests come
to call
Spirited colors
of balloons
To lighten up
the party mood
Floating airy
and light
The party goes
all night
As the party
winds down
Balloons are
deflated now
Blown away
crouching lower
The party is
over
by Susan Marie
Davniero
The Pendulum Swings
Published Long Story Short
by Susan Marie Davniero
From dawn
to sunset brings
The
pendulum of life swings
It was once
upon a time
Of swings
and nursery rhythms
Young girls
at Sheepshead Park
On the
swings until it got dark
Flying high
chasing the clouds
My
childhood days allowed
As I look
back on yesterday
The
pendulum swings the other way
By sweeping
fallen leaves away
I long to
swing again today
by Susan Marie
Davniero
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