Joker's Wild

MY  JOKES AND ANECODOTES

• A Brief Medical Joke Recently, my husband Bob was rushed into emergency surgery.  Unprepared, my husband questioned his state of undress prompting him to ask the surgeon, “Are boxers okay?” His question was met by the surgeon’s pause and reply, “Sure, but I prefer briefs.”

• My husband waited in the car for me as I went into the stationery store. While waiting on line, my husband grew impatient and attempted to get my attention knocking on store front window peering in at me.  I became annoyed, yet before I could respond the lady patron behind me on line whispered advice into my ear, “Ignore him.” I smiled as I explained, “I can’t. He’s my husband.” 

• After undressing for a bath, I remember I left the oven on and I abruptly walked into the kitchen stark naked to shut the oven. My husband, Bob walks into the kitchen and starts up a conversation with me.  Startled, I outburst, “I don’t want to have a conversation now while I’m dripping wet naked. I just ran out of the tub for a minute.”  My husband glazes at me sheepishly with his idea of an apology, “Sorry, I didn’t notice.”  

 

• While waiting in a dentist’s reception waiting room, accompany by my twin sister, I took notice of two similar women waiting also together.  I gave them a “Good afternoon,” and nonchalantly asked them if they’re sisters also like my sister and I, given they’re appeared to be alike. Not to elude my question they smiled in return, yet seemed flustered as they shared with me, “Well, in some regard we are sisters but not like you and your sister – we’re nuns.”

PUBLISHED SATURDAY EVEN POST /PAYMENT FOR JOKE
A poster displayed on a downtown bus:  “Are you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help. Call us.”

Published: New York Daily News -Won Tickets 

A stillness envelope two golfers’ game as a funeral procession drove by outside the golf course gated ground, the sight held them beyond their golf game.  Clearly off his game, one of the golfers removed his cap and bows his head in a silent prayer, as his partner retreated into a shunned silence by his sense of dramatize respect.  The praying golfer offers an explanation, “We would have been married 50 years today.”  Published:  New York Daily News -Susan Marie Davniero

Jokes and Laugher Submission that I overheard... 

One day at work my boss's young son visited the office. I hinted to the son, "Maybe when you grow up you can work here with your father." The precocious son replied, "Gee, I hope not!"

***

Picture this when I overheard two young schoolboys in conversation. One of the boys boast, "I never pay attention in school." His companion ask, "Isn't that a problem?" "Not really." the other one explains; "I was out sick for a week and didn't miss a thing."

***

Overhead at the bowling alley, one bowler was joking with his bowler partner of his resemblance to the cartoon animation "Fred Flintstone." The Fred Flintstone look-alike bragged "Yeah don't I." Adding "I wish I made his money!"

 Re: Humor Submissions

-How did the celebrity pay for his coffee? He paid with "Starbucks!"

-What did the astronaut use to win a match? An arm-strong.

-Sometimes cellulite is "just desserts."

-Don't ask the questions and then complain about the answers.

-Know thyself - or at least know where to look.

-A wrinkle is only a "nickle of time."

-She who does nothing wrong probably does nothing. 

-It's east to be an angel if no one ruffles your feathers.

-The older I get the better I was.

-If you don't stand for something, you fall for anything.

-Do not measure worth with knowing the price of everything yet the value of nothing.

-True wealth is in the number of things a person can afford to do without.

-Aim high to see the greater good.

Submitted by:

Susan Marie Davniero

THE MINI KITTEN
Published Pancakes in Heaven

When the mini was new

The kitten was a mini, too

From this feline so inspired

I wore my mini dress attire

A mini and kitten seem to fit

To be the “purr-fect” outfit

by Susan Marie Davniero

SANTA’S WINK
Published Great South Bay Mag

Santa’s wink

Christmas link

Makes me think

If my gift will be

Under the tree

Is Santa and me

Susan Marie Davniero

BALLOONS ON THE WALL

Balloons on the wall

When guests come to call

Spirited colors of balloons

To lighten up the party mood

Floating airy and light

The party goes all night

As the party winds down

Balloons are deflated now

Blown away crouching lower

The party is over

by Susan Marie Davniero

The Pendulum Swings 

Published Long Story Short

by Susan Marie Davniero 

From dawn to sunset brings

The pendulum of life swings

It was once upon a time

Of swings and nursery rhythms

Young girls at Sheepshead Park

On the swings until it got dark

Flying high chasing the clouds

My childhood days allowed

As I look back on yesterday

The pendulum swings the other way

By sweeping fallen leaves away

I long to swing again today

by Susan Marie Davniero

Happy New Year!

Let there peace on earth and 

Let it begin with everyone this New Year 




HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Published Great South Bay Magazine

Happy New Year
To all near and dear
Oneness of humankind
Champion of unity align
Together in unity
Without bias disparity
Land of prosperity
Peace and tranquility
Destiny in our hand
Join together we stand
United for all – all for one
2012 – We only just begun!

Susan Marie Davniero

THE NEW YEAR
Published the Poetry Explosion 

Turn a calendar page
To the next stage
Passing day grew
From old to new
Night closes to morn
Awaken new year born
Shedding a tear
Goodbye last year
The old fades away
The new year today

Susan Marie Davniero 
\



New Years Day 2012
Old Country Buffet

New Years Eve with Teresa

Pizza - A Taste from the Past
Published Pancakes in Heaven 
by Susan Marie Davniero

Taste and see my best pizza memory - pizza was a taste from the past. Those were the good old New Year’s Eve days growing up celebrating New Year’s Eve at my grandparents’ house, Joseph and Bridget Cioffi. 

Walking into their three story Brooklyn Victoria home, the aroma of Grandma’s authentic Italian Sicilian homemade pizza escaped from the kitchen to pervade the air for a warm entrance. It wouldn't taste like New Year’s Eve without Grandma's homemade lip smacking homemade pizza. Grandma’s special homemade Pizza came to be our family’s New Year’s Eve tradition - we ate it up as the clock hits midnight. With Grandma’s special pizza cuisine on the menu for New Year Eve’s we didn’t just say Happy New Year we said Bon appetite with every bite. 

Suddenly it’s Midnight and we take captive of Grandma’s pizza pots, pans and wooden spoons from the kitchen running into the dark of night onto the streets banging away on the pots and pans broadcasting Happy New Year’s to the world. In those days it was safe outside on the street. t was another slice of nostalgia on New Year’s Eve saying goodbye to the last year and knowing that one day we will be saying goodbye to Grandma’s pizza also.

Turn the calendar page as years past and Grandma's New Year Eve’s pizza has left only its taste on my memory - pizza days at Grandma’s is no longer served. Since those days I’ve had many New Year’s Eve shared with loved ones, family, friends and my loving husband, Bob. Yet, alas, New Year’s Eve will never "taste" the same without Grandma's special homemade pizza - a taste from the past. Bon appetite! 

written by Susan Marie Davniero 

Bon Appetite to Yesteryear

(In memory Grandma Bridget Cioffi) 

New Year's Eve of the past

Good old days do not last

Yet memories I can still taste

Welcome to Grandma's home

Scent of homemade pizza roam

Escaping from kitchen room

Suddenly it's New Year's Eve

Midnight pizza pie is serve

Yearly family tradition perserve

Slice of Grandma's years

Fall of nostgalgia tears

Bon appetite to yesteryear

written by Susan Marie Davniero

The Good Old New Year’s Eve Days

Those were the good old New Year’s Eve days growing up and celebrating New Year’s Eve at my grandparents’ house, Joseph and Bridget Cioffi. My parents and sisters would travel from Massapequa LI to Brooklyn to my grandparent’s home nestled between apartment buildings on a busy Brooklyn street.

Their house seemed enormous to me as a child looking up at this towering brick grand house. Growing up in Long Island I wasn’t accustomed to the aged grandiose Brooklyn houses. They just don’t make houses like that in LI developments. The house fit as it seemed to be as old as my grandparents.

The car ride felt like forever to a child’s impatience. We finally arrived and Dad began to search for a parking space on a busy borough street. Sometimes Grandpa tried to save Dad a parking space by placing his garbage pail in the street parking space.

Grandma would warmly greet us at the door as Grandpa stood outside directing Dad parking. Dad was an excellent driver but followed Grandpa’s direction just the same. Running into the house my sisters and I ran upstairs claiming our bedroom for we came to sleep over.

The aroma of Grandma’s authentic Italian Sicilian homemade pizza pervaded the air. No one made pizza like my Grandma Bridget – dripping with mozzarella, in an icing layer of homemade tomatoes sauce, sitting on a bed of thick Italian crust comparable to the any NYC pizzeria. Pizza came to be our family’s New Year’s Eve tradition.

My grandparents’ vast empty house was soon filled with love and laughter that New Year’s Eve. My favorite cousins, Elaine and Paulie joined our family arriving with Aunt Renee and Uncle Paulie driving from Elmont in his family car - an infamous Edsel. I knew than it will surely be another Happy New Year’s Eves at Grandma and Grandpa’s as we ring in the New Year together for another year!

Dad announces its time to get the cards out..and we all claim our places in the elegant dining room converted now for the family poker game. Even grandma played poker. I remember when grandma won with 4 deuces. The adults sat at the dining table and the cousins held our own kiddies penny poker at a bridge table set up alongside. Our New Year’s Eve was all in the cards for this family.

We were allowed to stay up all night to Midnight. Aunt Renee often took nap so she could stay awake but staying awake for me was no problem. I was so excited to be staying up all night. Suddenly it’s Midnight and we take captive of Grandma’s pots, pans and wooden spoons running into the dark of night onto the streets banging away on the pots/pans broadcast Happy New Year’s to the world. In those days it was safe outside on the street.

After the New Year’s Eve Midnight excitement I was tired ready to be tucked into bed in upstairs bedroom. Grandma’s bed sheets seemed like new crisp with linen freshness giving me a peaceful sleep.

We awoke to Grandma’s breakfast of homemade Italian bread French toast (Grandma only kept Italian bread in her home no slice Wonder was found in her panty) accompany with a glass of “Tang” the orange sugary drink astronauts drank (this was a time during the 60’s ad campaign ads for Tang) with a side plate of real buttered toast. Even Grandma’s simple plate of toast was the best toast I ever had. I suppose you just can’t bottle a Grandma’s love.

Turn the calendar page as years past and New Year’s Eve at Grandma and Grandpa is only a memory. Turn Since those days I’ve had many exciting New Year’s Eve shared with loved ones and my loving husband, Bob. Yet, alas, New Year’s Eve will never be the same like my good old New Year’s Eve Days.

Written by Susan Marie Davniero 



Susan and Bob New Years Day 2012



Laura and Dennis New Years Day 2012

THE NEW YEAR

Published Great South Bay Magazine

Turn a calendar page

To the next stage

Passing day grew

From old to new

Night closes to morn

Awaken a new year born

The old fades away

A new year today

Shedding a tear

It’s a New Year!

Susan Marie Davniero

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 by Susan Marie Davniero

(Published Long Story Short)

Happy New Year
To all near and dear
Oneness of humankind
Champion of unity align
Together in unity
Without bias disparity
Land of prosperity
Peace and tranquility
Destiny in our hand
Join together we stand
United for all, all for one
2013, We have only just begun!

Suddenly it’s 2014!

Published Long Island Press 

Suddenly it’s 2014! It’s the beginning of a new year. For 2014 make the months count to add up to make a difference. Turn the calendar page to a new year to leave the world better than how you found it.

Happy New Year everyone - 2014 has only just begun.

Sincerely,

Susan and Robert Davniero 

The Good Old New Year’s Eve Days

Published Long Story Short 

 

Those were the good old New Year’s Eve days growing up and celebrating New Year’s Eve at my grandparents’ house, Joseph and Bridget Cioffi. My family drove from Massapequa LI to my grandparent's Brooklyn home

My grandparents’ vast empty house was soon filled with love and laughter that New Year’s Eve with my relatives arriving. The aroma of Grandma’s authentic Italian Sicilian homemade pizza escaped from the kitchen. Pizza came to be our family’s New Year’s Eve tradition.

Dad announces its time to get the cards out as their elegant dining room converted now for the family poker games tables for the adults and the kids penny poker. New Year’s Eve was all in the cards for this family.

Suddenly it’s Midnight and we take captive of Grandma’s pots, pans and wooden spoons running into the dark of night onto the streets banging away on the pots and pans broadcasting Happy New Year’s to the world. In those days it was safe outside on the street.  It was another Happy New Year’s at my grandparents home.

Turn the calendar page as years past and New Year’s Eve at Grandma and Grandpa is only a memory. Ring out the old, Ring in the new. Since those days I’ve had many exciting New Year’s Eve shared with loved ones, family, friends and my loving husband, Bob. Yet, alas, New Year’s Eve will never be the same like my good old New Year’s Eve Days.

written by Susan Marie Davniero

Bon Appetite to Yesteryear

(In memory Grandma Bridget Cioffi) 
Published Pancakes in Heaven

New Year's Eve of the past

Good old days do not last

Yet memories I can still taste

Welcome to Grandma's home

Scent of homemade pizza roam

Escaping from kitchen room

Suddenly it's New Year's Eve

Midnight pizza pie is serve

Yearly family tradition perserve

Slice of Grandma's years

Fall of nostgalgia tears

Bon appetite to yesteryear

written by Susan Marie Davniero

Let there peace on earth and let it begin with everyone the New Year 

Great South Bay Magazine

Awakes New Year
by Susan Marie Davniero

Midnight clock ticks

A New Year's trick

By a stroke of time 

Cross the year's line 

From the dark of night 

The year's out of sight

Calendar page turns

Days of lost returns  

It took a year's end  

For time passage to send

On the path to travel here 

Awakes the New Year





LONG STORY SHORT